My Journey begins.
I always wanted to write a Blog, so here I am finally…..
Early this year I separated from my husband, and now my single journey begins but this time I have my 5-year-old daughter Christine along, so the journey is not smooth, but will surely be interesting. I have seen people complaining with the term “single mom”, because moms are mom either being single or having partner does not change the role, but alas it’s not the same, being a single mom is like rowing the boat alone, with no extra hands to help when you get tired. Moreover, Single moms should always be fuelled up and geared up, as there is no back up…. But of course, there are family and friends who always empathize and support.
Initially it takes a while to adjust to your new role, but it requires careful planning and prioritizing. My first step was to reduce my job from full time to part time, which can’t be done overnight, it should go through a process. So, in short, if you wish to separate plan in advance, especially with a child you need to think of child care, parenting hours and last your financial circumstances. But unfortunately for me planning was not applicable, so when I separated my world came crushing down all at once, lucky for me I had my friends who were there in tough times. I had to think of my work, working as a nurse I do rostered shifts, which means I do both day and night shifts, so my first task was to find a child care. This is when Facebook helped, advertising in the local group is an added benefit. It did help, and I found a good carer for my daughter. All single moms should look around on wide perspective and check for opportunities around them, especially with job, child care and benefits.
Like several moms being single was not my choice, it was something that I had to decide for me to be happy. Being in abusive relationship which was full of emotional and physical violence, it was high time that I took that step. There are several women who still linger in their abusive relationship only because of their children but the choice is theirs who are we to judge? However, it was a new beginning for me. New Zealand is an amazing country which supports women like me, and I am very grateful and thankful, I have got lot of affection and support from Kiwi’s and the government. There is women’s refuge whom you can call anytime and the are always there for the support.
I survived, I lived, if you are an immigrant like me and you face domestic violence, please try talking and seeking help from the local community I am sure you will have a community of your origin in the place you live. There is no harm in addressing your problems and yes people do listen. I am single now and I love every moment, I realize now that I should have come out long ago but as they say never too late.
And again all you single moms, you are amazing, to anyone who have not read it yet please read, http://www.singlemotherahoy.com/2013/05/never-say-single-mother.html, this might be helpful.
Bye see you guys on my next post….
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton