Hi sorry I am writing after a long time.. was sick and then i got on vacation mode!😜😜

Yes my today’s blog is about Why are you scared??. what do you do if your house is robbed? or what do u do if there is stranger in your house? you don’t sit quietly do you? you end of complaining to a police station or you tell your friends or neighbors and seek help don’t you? Then why don’t we do the same if there is a domestic violence in our house?. Its a hard topic to discuss, and is highly influenced by our culture.

When I spoke up about domestic violence in the beginning, I was silenced I was told I have to deal with it, no one can come between husband and wife and its our personal problem..  I got comments like “why don’t you keep quite when he is angry” or ” Try to find why he gets angry”. Really? is this all the advice I get? I even got told think of your daughter she is still small. There were hardly a few who really advised me to walk out of this relationship. I Kept remembering on our wedding vow ” …. until death do you part”, I kept thinking of my parents my family, how are they going to face the society? Its not easy, its a hard step. But I don’t want to hide myself, I don’t want to cry , I want to be a fighter!

When I started this blog my friends asked me” do you really want to do it?” yes of course, I am not a victim anymore but there are still a lot of victim out there who need a voice, who need encouragement. I was scared for 5 years, I was scared to talk. I was worried what will people tell? but not anymore, I know its hard. My pure intention of this blog is not to portray me as victim but to spread awareness on domestic violence and  break the silence. Remember domestic violence is not OK!

Thank you guys for reading my blog and giving me wonderful comments! You guys inspire me😍😍!!! so as promised here is my next blog….

Sometimes we get so used to living with our partner ( husband) that we forget our own strength and weakness. Once you separate the harsh reality strikes in, its the fact that certain things that you solely depended on your partner to do  will now  pile up like a mountain. This is when you get extremely depressed😒 and ask yourself over and over again ” did I do the right thing?”,  but then you need to trust and believe in yourself. Believe that fact that anything is possible and its up to you to make your dreams come true. If you haven’t given a try how can you possibly think you can’t do it? I face this little challenges everyday! But this week I had to face a bigger one  and I am proud that I was able to overcome my fear🙌.

So this week both myself and my friend happened to have an off together ( it is rare) and so we decided to make the most of it🎉!! So this is when we decided to drive to Hamilton which is 285km away from the place we live! But the main hurdle was we had to drive, and neither me nor my friend drove anywhere more than 30km.😊. So this was indeed a challenge for me and guess what? I could not believe myself that  i actually was able to drive 500km in one day👍!

We face challenges in our life everyday, but overcoming them needs confidence. Sometimes we give up, as there will be at least 1000 thoughts in our head saying why exactly we should not be facing them. We get so used to our comfort zone; that we believe we are happy and satisfied. I too was the same, driving was never my comfort zone and would avoid it if i need be🚗. But this time I was forced to do it that I actually realized I enjoyed it!

Now ask yourself what is that little challenge in life that you think you can achieve? what is that you would like to do differently? Make yourself stronger and believe in yourself 💋

Continue giving your love❤💕 and please comment on the comment section or you can follow me too👣.. I am on Facebook under the page Reshma

Thanks!

have an amazing week guys!🙋‍♀️

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My Journey begins.

I always wanted to write a Blog, so here I am finally…..

Early this year I separated from my husband, and now my single journey begins but this time I have my 5-year-old daughter Christine along, so the journey is not smooth, but will surely be interesting. I have seen people complaining with the term “single mom”, because moms are mom either being single or having partner does not change the role, but alas it’s not the same, being a single mom is like rowing the boat alone, with no extra hands to help when you get tired. Moreover, Single moms should always be fuelled up and geared up, as there is no back up…. But of course, there are family and friends who always empathize and support.

Initially it takes a while to adjust to your new role, but it requires careful planning and prioritizing. My first step was to reduce my job from full time to part time, which can’t be done overnight, it should go through a process. So, in short, if you wish to separate plan in advance, especially with a child you need to think of child care, parenting hours and last your financial circumstances. But unfortunately for me planning was not applicable, so when I separated my world came crushing down all at once, lucky for me I had my friends who were there in tough times. I had to think of my work, working as a nurse I do rostered shifts, which means I do both day and night shifts, so my first task was to find a child care. This is when Facebook helped, advertising in the local group is an added benefit. It did help, and I found a good carer for my daughter. All single moms should look around on wide perspective and check for opportunities around them, especially with job, child care and benefits.

Like several moms being single was not my choice, it was something that I had to decide for me to be happy. Being in abusive relationship which was full of emotional and physical violence, it was high time that I took that step. There are several women who still linger in their abusive relationship only because of their children but the choice is theirs who are we to judge? However, it was a new beginning for me. New Zealand is an amazing country which supports women like me, and I am very grateful and thankful, I have got lot of affection and support from Kiwi’s and the government. There is women’s refuge whom you can call anytime and the are always there for the support.

I survived, I lived, if you are an immigrant like me and you face domestic violence, please try talking and seeking help from the local community I am sure you will have a community of your origin in the place you live. There is no harm in addressing your problems and yes people do listen. I am single now and I love every moment, I realize now that I should have come out long ago but as they say never too late.

And again all you single moms, you are amazing, to anyone who have not read it yet please read, http://www.singlemotherahoy.com/2013/05/never-say-single-mother.html, this might be helpful.

Bye see you guys on my next post….

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton